Sometimes I find myself questioning in which direction my life is headed, but the truth is, a couple of months ago, I couldn't have answered that myself!
Just a few months ago, I found myself living a life in a place where survival is a virtue. A place where only those who are wealthy, well mannered, well educated, and have the knowledge and expertise of making mad profits from sweaty, hard working, non-ignorant, gently, low-income workers, just like myself come on top. I looked at my life as if it were on a quest game, as if I was one of the players, standing in the middle of a world map with a compass that pointed the direction I was to head, but its needle kept spinning around and gave no signs of stopping. I felt confused. My life had no direction. It was suffocating me! I felt as if I were a joystick and someone was moving it with its thumb. I had no voice. I could not be heard, no matter how hard I tried to let the only one word out of my chest...HELP!
One day at work, one of my dear co-workers, Kathie, mentioned that her son, a well educated boy, was headed to Cambridge, England, for a semester as an exchange student. I was so excited for him, he had a plan, he had a goal, he had a vision; and he knew what was needed to do and went after it to get it.
That one episode made me think...in high school I was always an A+ student, I was well organized in every sense, when the professor was explaining what the next research paper was going to be about, I was already planning the way it was going to be written, which words I was to be using, where I was to get the material from, and how I would manage to find the time to get it done, between school, night school, in which I was taking extra subjects for extra credits just as I did in summer; and weekend part-time work...but, I always managed to hand my research paper, in three days time.
The only difference from that time to now, is that now I have a family, a wonderful man which I admire and adore, and three beautiful children ages 7, 5, and 1, to whom I would give my life in a heartbeat.
Now, I have people that depend on me, as opposed to before, when I only depended upon my own actions.
So I started to look back at my family history, just as the saying..."You don't know who you are, if you do not know where you come from." I always looked at that saying as a fortifying and reassuring way of overcoming obstacles.
I was sure of one thing...I had found myself in a loop hole, but I was certain that at some point in their lives, some of my ancestors had found themselves in that very particular place, and somehow they managed to overcome it, and so was I.
I gather what I already knew, my dear paternal grandfather, who past when I was 9 years old, was the son of a Spaniard, his wife, my dear paternal grandmother, who past, just a few months ago, was the daughter of an Italian. On the other hand, my dear maternal grandfather, who past a few year ago, was a Paraguayan, and my most dear maternal grandmother, is the daughter of an Italian as well, and with all these information I was to make a plan...
Finally, after 9 years, I was planning, organizing, and making goals, but this time, not only for me but for the people who I love the most, my Family!
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